My back is still really sore.
But whatever. Its working fine. I even got in the pit a little last night and it was ok. Didn’t stay long cause im saving it for tonight.
Just starting on the first episode while I get ready to go out tonight. Season 2 kicked so much ass that I find it hard to believe everyone’s complaining that the show turned so stupid.
But then I’ve seen perfectly good shows turn stupid before so I’m already sort of mourning the loss of the awesome part of this show before it’s even done.
Cause at least what I’ve seen so far in the first half of the first episode of Season 3, I think the stupid part comes later than this.
Oreo hasn’t had a bad day in what seems like a long time now. Part of the reason im trying to stay off fb so much. Shes not dying today but shes closer to death than not since shes old. Dont want to waste what time we have left looking at glowy screens instead of being fully present with her.
I’ve been saddled all my life with an awful name. Made only worse by a sad character in a terrible movie having the same exact name as me.
Unlike most women, I didn’t get married to anyone in any hurry and so here I am 46 yrs old and still living with a name I hate.
I felt some obligation to keep my real name. I’m not sure why. There was always some intermittent talk in my family about changing it maybe. And I lived my days thinking I’d change it maybe too. Maybe when I thought of something perfect. Which I never did.
Perfection has a way of paralyzing you.
Then I met a guy. Through a friend. Who coincidentally had the same terrible last name but he changed his. He said his wife got pregnant and all of a sudden it became more important for the sake of the child to change the name. To give it every possible advantage.
They literally got a book off the shelf and picked the name off it and that was that. He told me it was about $100 and it was no big deal and totally easy and there’s no reason I shouldn’t do it too.
But I was waiting till I thought up something good to change it to.
In the end, the perfect name came to me. I tried on lots of ideas, consulted friends, had many philosophical discussions about what names mean and if they matter.
What nationality name I’d want. What kind of name I’d want. That sounds too snooty. That sounds too Italian. Thats too weird. That’s too plain.
And just like buying a house or a dress…. I knew when I had the one that was the one. It seemed so obvious that I couldn’t believe I’d not thought of it before.
So I filed the paperwork.
I’m really excited but I think that I’ve created a lot more paperwork in my future. The only part I’m not looking forward to.
I feel like I should throw a big party. It seems akin to a marriage or a birth or something like that. It’s a fresh start in some ways even though I’m still gonna be mostly the same.
It’s a break from my family which I’d done years and years ago anyway so there’s no reason for me to feel obligated to hang onto the history of those people.
I really just needed one guy who’d been there, where I stand, to tell me to just pick another name and change it.
It’s not a done deal yet but if all goes well, and it should, I’ll be the new me soon enough.
I feel like it’s way cooler than getting a tattoo.