lost a post
about all sorts of things you never want to think about that id written in great detail. it took me hours and had links.
I’m generally a straight shooter and if you can’t figure out if I’m interested or not in you it’s because I’m not. Because if I was, you’d know.
I’m not shy and I don’t keep my feelings to myself so I just figure other people are the same way and if you’ve never made your big move on me, I assume there isn’t one coming.
If I’ve shot you down politely I figure you know you’re in “the friendzone”. Which is a term I hate. Because it implies a lot of things I don’t believe are true.
I mean a person who is a friend, I’d hope I have a healthy relationship with. “Friendzone” implies a one-sided messed up thing where the one person wants more than the other and hangs around being pathetic and hoping in vain that all of a sudden romance will develop where there just plain isn’t any.
It’s sad. Don’t be that. If you find yourself there, walk away. Don’t chase after someone who doesnt want you.
I’ve been on all sides of this as a most-often single person for years and years now. Problem is that sometimes I really do want to be just friends. Sometimes that works for everyone and sometimes it doesn’t.
I don’t know what the difference is exactly but it mostly seems to matter if the people involved are still carrying a romantic torch for one another or not.
Hanging out w/old friends of mine this weekend brought up old stories and apparently I had one of these friendzone guys I didnt know anything about years ago. Because he never made a move on me ever. And if he had that’d been the end of that. Because he never had a chance at any point.
I guess he was too weenie to have ever even made a move. Which is fine by me because I was never put in that awkward position of having to turn him down.
My guy friends last night, who are just friends, were telling me that he’d confessed his love for me to one of them at a drunk party years and years and years ago.
Which just makes him seem more pathetic to me. I mean seriously if he thought hanging around me for years while I dated other guys was going to get him somewhere…. how sad is that?
So i’m one of those girls. I always imagined those girls strung those friendzone guys along to bolster their own egos but now that I know that I was one for years and didn’t have a clue… well I’m actually pretty glad for him that he just quit talking to me one day.
I didn’t know where the hostility came from or why but I just let him walk away. Without going into specific ancient history, he was doing stuff that was becoming problematic for me.
I don’t know what he was going through because he didnt talk to me about his stuff. And I didn’t like talking to him about my stuff because it never made the transition from my mouth to his brain successfully and he either misinterpreted everything I ever said, or else just plain ignored what I was telling him anyway.
I couldn’t take him around most of my friends for one reason or another by the end of it and spending time with him had become a chore that I did out of some loyalty to him since I’d known him so long.
I don’t know how he perceived it, but knowing him whatever I thought, he most certainly thought the exact opposite anyway.
We were clearly not a love connection ever at any point in history. I never thought we ever were. I only just got wind that he ever had any feelings of that sort for me. If he was smart that would have died really early on in the time we hung out. I don’t know if he was smart or not. I never noticed any of it in the first place.
If he was dumb and still hanging around till that day he told me off not that long ago because I didnt want to eat dinner at the restaurant he wanted to go to, then I really feel sort of like he deserved whatever he went through since it was all self-inflicted.
and that it’s probably the best thing he ever did for himself to tell me off and quit talking to me.
My life hasn’t changed a whole lot without him. I’m free from the obligation of hanging out with him, which is all it was for me by the end anyway.
Sometimes people are best off without each other.